Does it ever seem to you that everyone around you is confident, but you struggle with lack of confidence? It seems like a magical world we’re all trying to find the entrance to, but no one really knows how to actually get there. Confidence comes from a variety of sources: our backgrounds, comparing ourselves with others, having a bad day, getting a C on an important exam… There’s a list of things that are important to us – our family, our friends, our career, our looks… Events that affect these things affect our self-confidence too.
Confidence (or the lack of confidence) can change daily, even hourly. Confident people know confidence comes from within, but they also know they’re not 100% confident all of the time. They’ve learned that it’s less about being confident all the time, and more about trusting that, whatever the outcome, they will be capable of dealing with it and they will learn something from the situation.
So, how to develop self-confidence? Discover the guide with surprising ways to become a confident person quickly below:
If you pay attention, you can learn a few things about confidence just by people-watching. Try to think of a person you met whom you considered self-confident. Chances are, they had good posture that oozed confidence. Before you even utter a word in social situations, your body language already gives away whether you’re a confident person or not. You just have to walk into the room and be fearless. Never let people think for a second that you couldn’t totally take them down.
Are you reading this article sitting in a chair with your back slouched and head sunk into your shoulders? Good posture means standing tall or sitting straight with your shoulders back and head held high. If I guessed it right, give it a try and notice how you’re starting to feel much better immediately.
Have you ever noticed how, when you put on your favorite clothes and spray a bit of your favorite perfume, you feel more ready to conquer whatever you were facing that day? Whether it’s for a job interview or an important exam you’re taking, dressing nicely gives you that sentiment of successfulness and belief in yourself.
You become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
If you hang out with 5 people who are insecure, you’ll become the 6th.
If you hang out with 5 people who think negatively, you’ll become the 6th.
If you hang out with 5 people who are unsuccessful, you’ll become the 6th.
But, if you hang out with 5 people who are confident, you’ll become the 6th.
The people we surround ourselves with have a massive influence on us and this eventually leads us to think and behave similarly to them, so it’s in your best interest that you choose wisely. Make sure you’re around people that lift you up, encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and have a positive outlook on life, not bring you down.
Every once in a while we take a break from our job, from certain foods, from watching a certain show… We should do so with social media as well. Give your mind a break and unfollow certain accounts who maybe do you more harm than good, it doesn’t matter if it’s Beyoncé, the president, your aunt or one of your friends. Unfollow toxic people on social media and in real life.
In what situations do you feel insecure? What deflates you?
Recognize what scares or triggers you. It might be a school presentation, an exam, a challenge at work or with someone close to you. Once you’ve done that, analyze how you react in these situations, which thoughts and feelings pop up and what they are based on. If you wouldn’t want your friend to feel like that or think those thoughts, why do you do it to yourself?
Affirmations are, in short, our beliefs. And beliefs are just a habit of thought. The things you’re saying to yourself daily affect your confidence. Try to catch yourself when you have a negative thought, let it go and replace it with a positive thought. Some examples of affirmations are:
I choose to feel good about myself each day. Every morning I remind myself that I can make the choice to feel good. This is a new habit for me to cultivate.
I know that old, negative patterns no longer limit me. I let them go with ease.
My confidence is high because I honor who I am.
Everything is working out for my highest good.
I am safe. Life supports me in every possible way.
I am a unique, beautiful soul. I am more than enough.
You don’t have to use these affirmations; you can create your own – they’ll be even more powerful.
Where focus goes, energy flows. Now, I’m not saying you should follow the trend and just “think positive,” because there’s so much more to that. Your thoughts create your reality, so next time you find yourself worrying, try to shift your focus. Instead of imagining all kinds of scenarios where things could go wrong, practice gratefulness to remember what you do have and use affirmations.
Every night, before you go to bed, take out a notebook and write down at least three things you’re grateful for. You can also do it in the morning for a better start of the day. As you do this, you will start to feel good, be happier and build your confidence, and the list will grow longer.
Remember: you have the power to choose your thoughts. Use it well.
Visualization is a powerful tool for personal growth and becoming a confident person. Visualize your ideal self – successful, confident, strong… Or visualize how you felt when you had your last accomplishment. Notice what feelings come up, stick to those feelings and don’t let any negative thought to take over the power. If you’re learning how to be confident, you’ve probably had moments in the past when you were confident, and remembering them will give you the boost you need.
Doubting yourself destroys more dreams than failure. You have an opportunity each day to do your best, and what you do today is what matters most.
Think about times in your life when you felt confident. What gives you the feeling of confidence? What are your strengths? What are you good at? What was it that caused your confidence level to spike and made you feel good?
This will vary from person to person, but it’s good to know what makes you – you. Remember you’re valuable and unique. You have a role in this world. Look back every once in a while to see how much progress you’ve made. Be proud of your accomplishments. Stop comparing yourself to others. Accept that perfection is not the goal, authenticity is. Knowing who you are makes the opinion of others hold less weight.
Such a simple action of smiling can almost instantly change your mood. Smiling will not only help you feel more confident, but also help you be more kind to others and start a chain reaction. When you smile at life, life smiles back at you. 🙂
Learning how to be confident is a process and there’s no-size-fits-all approach to building it. Tools like focusing on your abilities, changing your self-image, releasing fears and stopping comparing yourself to others are some quick ways to gain confidence.